


Cutting my mind off (feels like my heart is going to burst)

by Amber_Flicker



Series: Hartmon Week - 2016 [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Hartmon Week 2016, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 06:23:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6943423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amber_Flicker/pseuds/Amber_Flicker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hartley looked up, only seeming to just now realize he'd said that out loud, that his emotions were on display. Cisco watched as he began to close himself off, face blank, as if that meant it would stop.</p><p>Hartmon Week - Day One - Soulmates</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cutting my mind off (feels like my heart is going to burst)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Death of a Bachelor by Panic!at the disco

His heart was pounding so hard that he could hear the blood rushing in his ears. His hand jerked back, still tingling. He forgot how to breathe. And his head was flowing with emotions that weren't his own.

Hartley didn't look to be faring much better. He was staring down at cyan mark of fingerprints around his wrist in horror, still shaking from the overload of being bonded. The only sound was the gasps as they tried to regain composure.

"Well... This really isn't so bad..." Cisco tried to reason. Maybe they could do this. Maybe now that they were aware that they were soulmates, Hartley would treat him like an actual person. This wasn't how he'd wanted finding his soulmate would go, but it could have been so much worse-

" _No._ " Even if he hadn't been able to feel the panic and despair through the bond, he still would have heard it in his voice. Was he really that upset it was Cisco?

"Come on, Hartley, you can't hate me that much."

Hartley looked up, only seeming to just now realize he'd said that out loud, that his emotions were on display. Cisco watched as he began to close himself off, face blank, as if that meant it would stop.

"It's not you, specifically."

"Then what?"

"The idea of having a _soulmate_ in general." His voice was bitter. And honestly, Cisco couldn't understand that. He'd been waiting, hoping, to find his soulmate since he'd first learned of them, imagined the day it would happen and how amazing it would be. He assumed that was true for everyone. Why wouldn't you want someone you were destined to be with, who knew everything about you, who was basically guaranteed to love you? Who wouldn't reject you even when others did? Someone you could have trust in because there was no hiding anything? He would try to get it, though. They had to make this work. He didn't know what he'd do if...

"Well it doesn't have to be a romantic bond? What would make this okay for you?"

"Nothing."

Cisco absently touched the green marking his hand. "Hartley-"

"No. I can't- I can't do this. I don't _want_ a soulmate, Cisco. I've put so much effort into never finding mine, and now-" He stopped, trying to collect himself again.

"Please. Just try." Cisco knew he was getting desperate. He didn't care, because he could see Hartley's mark begin to fade to grey, could feel the bond closing, traces of hesitation and resignation and _fear_ disappearing just after he felt them. He had to- had to-

"Love wasn't meant for me." His irises flickered from blue to grey, matching the mark around his wrist. He'd rejected the bond. He'd rejected his soulmate. He'd rejected _Cisco._ But it could still be fixed, as long as Cisco didn't reject it, it could still be brought back! He still had a chance. But it was a hopeless endeavor, he knew before he'd said a word.

"How do you know? It's meant for you if you let it be, you can't just forget this."

Hartley, with his silver eyes, stared back at him for a moment, unreadable. Then he turned away, walked down the hall. So quiet Cisco almost missed it-

"I'm sorry." He was gone. 

Cisco tried to pick up the remains of his broken heart.

**Author's Note:**

> I mean... what did you expect from me. I hope it wasn't fluff. I actually had a completely different story that was twice as long, but felt the idea was already overused and boring, so I ended up with this. (Not that this is particularly unique either, but I don't want to skip the day.)
> 
> The 'love wasn't meant for me' exchange is a reference to a book called 'Two Across' by Jeff Bartsch. I just finished it yesterday, couldn't get the quote out of my head, so it ended up here.
> 
> Soulmarks appear wherever they first touch with skin-to-skin contact, each person has a specific colour they leave. If a bond is rejected both the mark and the eye colour turns grey, but only on the person who rejected it.


End file.
